Yes. It could be worse, but my pain is real, too.

A statement that I dislike, more times than not, is “it could be worse.”

You know what? On its face, that’s true, but it’s bad for me right now. It may not be as bad as someone else’s situation, but it’s my situation and I’m in pain over it right now.

Don’t abridge what’s going on in my body/mind/spirit to tell me “it could be worse.” You’ve just totally negated whatever it is I’m trying to deal with/work through.

Let me get through this process of dealing with what I’m dealing with, and eventually I’ll get to “it could be worse.”

Shoot. Maybe I’ll never get to “it could be worse,” but that’s my privilege. Don’t try to control how I feel.

We don’t always make it better for others by instructing them to look on the bright side. Sometimes there is no bright side. Some things are just bad, vicious, evil. Let me face it as it is, and let me decide how to feel about it in the end.

“Always trying to see the bright side in every situation may cause you to miss an eclipse.” -Faydra D. Fields (yes, you’ll see that in a volume of “30 Quotes 30 Days” πŸ˜€ )

7 thoughts on “Yes. It could be worse, but my pain is real, too.”

  1. YOU are the only one who can tell yourself, “it could be worse.” Coming from someone else, I think that phrase comes across as dismissive; it invalidates your feelings. If it’s real to you, it’s real, period. Comparing it to bigger, *more important* things doesn’t change its reality.

  2. Aww…love the pic πŸ™‚ Anyway I have to agree with Chela. It’s a dismissive statement, along with a poor attempt to really understanding (or caring) about the situation at hand.
    (Am I still fired??? *Hugs*

    1. πŸ˜† Yes, you’re still fired, but not because you haven’t commented on my questions in ages.

      Thanks for commenting on this little post. I appreciate you.

  3. You are SO right on, Faydra. This reminds me of my ex, who used to say, “You shouldn’t feel that way”, which always drove me crazy. A wise person once told me, “Your pain is your pain,” and you can’t compare it to anyone else’s. Thanks for being you.

  4. I have conflicting thoughts on this one. I’ve always said that at a particular moment one person’s crisis is their crisis and it’s the worst thing in the world. For the moment I’ll give them that. However, after some time, depending on the severity of the issue, one has to be ready to move on, and thus at that time pointing out what’s worse seems to spur most people into thinking about breaking out of whatever funk they were in and moving forward again.

    No, never negate someone else’s pain at that moment, but if it lingers, that’s not a bad technique to employ.

    1. I see your point, Mitch.

      I have to add that we are not always in a position to determine when someone else should “move on.” What’s right for us isn’t always right for someone else. Just the idea that “it could be worse” might send that person into a deeper spiral of depression and/or self pity because they’re simply not ready to hear that line of thinking.

      I think it’s a double-edged sword, but I do want to have my moment, and I don’t want it belittled by someone else’s “look on the bright side” mentality.

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I always enjoy your thoughts.

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