while I respect what you wrote, I have to say that (based only on the information in your post) you may be missing a certain point of view. It sounds like you were very fortunate to have your father present, and it also sounds like (and please forgive me if I am wrong), you do not have the perspective of being a single mother. I grew up without my biological father present in my life. My mother never said a bad word against him, he just never came around. And the same goes for my son. His father has no excuse not to be in his life, but he isnt.

I, had the awesome fortune, of having a stepfather. One who already had 5 biological children of his own, yet treated me, and still does, as if we share the same DNA. So to answer your question, “what is a real father”, a real father is there because he wants to be, not because someone made him or he feels guilty. A real father teaches their children to be good men and women and productive citizens of this world. A real father puts their children first, regardless of the consequence. And Yes, I have the authority to speak on what a real one is or isnt because I have had one that wasnt and one that was, and I am “that chick” who “holds it down” for my son because his father doesnt bother.  I am the one who taught him how to play basketball and baseball. I am the one who taught him how to pee standing up. I am the one who takes him every saturday to the barbershop. Being a good parent is not based on the number mistakes you make, but the effort you put into it.

You may think its tacky, but if someone takes offense to the term “real father” (or “real mother” for that matter) maybe they should self reflect to determine if they fit the bill. I am confident in who I am to my son, so those terms dont even concern me.

I think those posts that you speak of come out of mostly frustration. Usually those parents who have to be both roles and yet the other parent believes they deserve some type of honor for the little bit, if anything, they do.

Parenting, even with both mother and father present, is the toughest job you’ll ever have. Its NOT the same as babysitting every weekend or having 4 or 5 neices and nephews that come over all the time. Its not even in the same ballpark. So until you can walk a mile in those shoes, how can you tell someone else how to feel or what they should have done?